May 9, 2024
Well, this holy season sure didn’t go as planned!
Lent and Easter are always transformational…but then Feb 8, the Thursday BEFORE Ash Wednesday, happened…
+ + +
I’m always in a hurry…always trying to do one more thing….then CRASH….I fell on the way to do ‘one last thing’ after a long day of doing; just one more thing before an early evening settling in with a good book!
Instead: I made a trip to the emergency room with a trimalleolar fracture (all the bones holding my leg and ankle together broke; only muscle and tendon kept everything from falling apart – picture a foot flopping like a dead fish – you’re welcome for the visual! 😊)
So…there I was: bed bound, awaiting surgery a week later (metal plates and screws), and my sweet daughter left to care for me 24/7 until caregivers were in place.
For those who know me, dependence on others is not EVER my plan…so, a week out of surgery, I decided I could manage myself at night with the assist of a wheelchair and…CRASH…
Another trip to the emergency room, another surgery, more plates and screws to fix a broken wrist, back to 24/7 care with a ‘humble and contrite heart,’ and then bedroom bound for going on 4 months now – maybe by June I will be free!
This was indeed an unexpected Lenten/Easter Season!
But it was a time of transformational learning all the same.
Some of the transformational things I learned are quite obvious to you perhaps, but they’re things I have conveniently ignored:
What things? Well, my basic learning was that:
- Every second of every day doesn’t have to be filled
- Total self-sufficiency is a myth
- Prideful stubbornness can negatively impact the lives of others.
I don’t believe God causes bad things to happen, but I do believe that God will redeem bad things for our good and God’s glory IF we pay attention. Hopefully, I am paying attention and will remember the lessons!
But that’s not all….
God had some spiritually transformational things to teach me as well.
‘Be still and know that I AM God.’ Psalm 46:10
I began to literally live into this favorite scripture of mine and the power of the ‘know that I AM God’ part has knocked me to my knees….
How?
It began while I was watching a documentary on the universe. So beautiful. So amazing. But the thing that got me was when the series cycled back ‘to the beginning:’ They were talking about the ‘threads of gravitational pull’ that they believe put the rest of the universe in motion.
Once again, the age-old question arose: what was the source of the gravity? No matter, how far back you go – you always end up with that question: what was the source of that?
Well, God of course! But what does that even mean? I am clergy, I have a DMin. for heaven’s sake! I should have this all figured out, right?!
But I don’t…
I know and believe among other things that God:
- Is the uncreated One, without being and without end
- infills and surrounds all creation
- is incomprehensible (Isaiah 55:8-9)
- is at the same time universal and personal
But do I – and perhaps you – know what I am saying when I speak the words? Or am I just mindlessly parroting what I have been taught?
Am I – and perhaps you – failing to acknowledge the awe-filled incomprehensibility of Who God is?
And how does my life reflect what I say?
Think of it:
Nothing created God. Nothing. Everything has a source but God. It makes no sense at all – there had to be something to begin everything – still something had to be self-generating – but what? GOD
As I watched the documentary of the universe, I knew the scientific references to the outer limits of the universe – but what is beyond that? What contains the universe? What holds it all together? GOD
God is not a concept. God is not a security blanket. God is the unlimited, uncontainable Source of all that is.
To really sit in the uncomfortable space of having to consider the incomprehensibility of this truth about God – not just with a head nod and the push back of pious platitudes, but with a deep ‘being still’ and pondering, can instill holy terror in a person.
So, instead of sitting in that discomfortable stillness in order to ‘draw near’ and know what we can, we box God inside our comfort zones of relational definitions.
- We debate the pronouns to use for God
- We talk about holding God accountable for things we think should be different
- We ‘man/woman ‘splain’ God to suit our agendas, our preferences, our politics and theological agendas
- We are very casual in our approach to God – and the time we give to God – as though the Almighty should be grateful for any crumb we toss in the Holy One’s direction.
- We pray and expect our Holy Genie to perform.
- Our ‘holy conversations’ often contextualize God as ‘just a slob like one of us’ as Bette Midler sings.
- We question God’s ability to:
- part a sea as an implausible rescue plan for folks who hardly knew God
- speak from a burning bush on a mountain top to one who was living a contented life in exile
- orchestrate a virgin birth with the consent of an innocent girl who probably never dreamed of life beyond that of Joseph’s wife
- continue to run the universe while at the same time becoming One among us in order to save us from ourselves, even if it meant suffering and death to get us there
These ‘questionable miracles’ and so many more are nothing for the Almighty God of all that is!
Yet, I, and perhaps you, still try to have God on my own terms.
How arrogant! How embarrassing! I don’t really know God at all (to paraphrase a Joni Mitchell song), but I pretend to. If I – and perhaps you – really knew what I pretend to know, I would surely behave differently!
Among mortals, I believe the psalmist who penned Psalm 8 came the closest in expressing this profound holy otherness I fail to grasp and the holy mandates I fail to follow.
God’s mandates are to be obeyed – they are not options to consider as though God were just another self-help guru. Obeyed that is … if God is truly Who we claim God is! Sometimes I, and perhaps you, forget that God is God and we are not. It is God, not we, Who established the undebatable mandates.
What mandates?
- to love God as the Holy One – not treat the Lord as an afterthought
- to care for creation as God’s stewards, rather than as a commodity to exploit
- to serve others rather than demanding to be served ourselves
- to love and forgive without exception
- to include all as beloved children of God – without judgment or condescension
Yet, because we are forgetful, and act as though obedience to the One we claim to know is optional, our world is in its current state:
- loving God isn’t really ‘a thing’ – at least such love isn’t first in our hearts, soul, mind, and strength
- the creation struggles to survive us
- serving God and others has become relegated to volunteering when it is convenient
- love itself is discretionary
- forgiveness often comes with strings attached
- peace is conditional
- inclusivity must meet our criteria of who is worthy
I know I, and perhaps you, haven’t always lived within even my limited comprehension of the Almighty nature of God. I haven’t done the best job of considering who and Whose I am. I have often sought to bring God down to my level rather than allowing the Lord to lift me up closer to the Divine. And I am ashamed.
Yet, this incomprehensible God is gracious enough to put up with my forgetfulness, my lack of understanding, and my disobedience, and continues to love me – and you – full stop.
The incomprehensibility of Who God is and God’s limitless love is astonishingly apparent in Christ Who sought to remove any ‘holy terror’ of the past generations and draw us close to Him in love so that we might listen to the holy teachings and accept His holy mandates.
Only then can transformation can begin as the Holy Spirit works in cooperation with us to transform us into our best selves for the glory of God. It brings me to my knees that God would perform such a miracle for me – and for you! Any residual holy terror turns not to lazy familiarity but to awe-filled gratitude!
And, so….I begin again – that’s the joy of Easter! Unconditional love and forgiveness, and new beginnings in the light of the new creation!
Pentecost is upon us (May 19) – time to live into the transformational work God has done, is doing, and will continue to do among us!
Guess this Lenten/Easter season was exactly what I needed – broken bones and all!
And to God be the glory! AMEN.
Preacher Woman 