The Lady on the Asphalt

July 14, 2023

Yesterday, as I was out biking, I approached ‘something’ in the middle of the hot asphalt path.  

As I got closer, I noticed that ‘something’ was a person, seated on the path, leaning against a shopping cart.  

The person appeared to be an elderly Muslim man in traditional attire so I knew that, for an old woman in biking shorts to approach him, would probably not be the best plan; it would be disrespectful of his cultural norms.  

So, I rode around him, hoping a male biker would stop and render aid.  

Still, I thought about the man and decided that, culture or not, if he was still sitting there on my return trip, I would stop and see if I could help.  

He was still there.  

So, I stopped on the far side of him, and, as I walked toward him, I noticed he wasn’t a Muslim man at all, but a middle-aged, African-American woman, wearing a hoodie and sweat pants, leaning against a cart containing all her worldly possessions.  

When I asked if I could help her, she angrily looked up, assuming I was questioning her right to sit on the path. (The air temperature was 90 degrees and the asphalt was even hotter!). I tried to assure her that she could sit wherever she liked, of course, but I was worried about her. Could I possibly help her into a shady spot – along with her cart?  

She was furious.  I was being disrespectful of her autonomy.  She could care for herself.   

As she continued to yell at me, another woman arrived in her car.  She, too, had noticed the lady on the asphalt, and was bringing the un-homed lady something from a nearby fast-food place; she had included money in the bag as well.  

The lady on the asphalt yelled at this kind woman and ignored the gift.

The driver and I considered ‘now what?’ 

The driver thought we had done what we could; best to leave the woman alone or risk making her even more angry. The driver then returned to her car and left.

The lady on the asphalt continued to yell. Obviously, as the driver had said, my presence was just making a challenging situation worse, so I returned to my bicycle, rode out of the lady’s earshot, and called the non-emergency 911 number to ask for a welfare check.  

I am a police chaplain for my county and have done many ride-a-longs with officers as they provided welfare checks to the un-homed and mentally distressed. I have always found the police to be compassionate and respectful of those in need, so I knew the lady would be in good hands.

As I continued my ride, I started to think about things. What there was for me to learn from that experience?

Oh, sure, you might think this is going to be a Good Samaritan story, and how I didn’t exactly live into what I preach, but that isn’t where God led me.

Instead, I thought about something entirely different. 

First, in relation to myself: I have often been suspicious of those trying to help me as they offered guidance, safe haven, a different perspective of a situation, etc.  I would often react negatively. What were they really after?  What was their agenda?  Certainly, they didn’t just want to help!   After all, I am a smart and capable person and can take care of myself!  I have my rights!  Leave me alone!

Sometimes, my suspicions were warranted. There were hidden agendas which would not serve me well. 

BUT

Sometimes I was completely wrong!

In those ‘wrong times,’ I had leaned on my ‘shopping cart’ of pride, sitting firm on the ‘heat killing’ path which I decided it was my right to claim.  Yet, if I would be wise and consider the wisdom and care of another, I would possibly discover new opportunities – new hope – just over the horizon!  

Question is: was I willing take a breath and be open to something beyond my own wisdom and autonomy, or cling to ‘my position’ which was perhaps not only prideful but perhaps destructive?  

What a lesson that lady taught me!  Wish I could thank her!

As I thought some more, I began to think her lesson might not just be for me – but perhaps for the church as well. 

As church, are we refusing to budge from the destructive positions we have taken – on ALL sides? 

We as ‘church,’ know our own understanding of scripture is the only correct understanding, right?! 

Who needs to understand historical context? 

Who needs to consider love as the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:36-40), intended to serve as the touchstone for all we say and do?

Who needs to remember that God alone is judge? (James 4:12)

Who needs live into Jesus’ parable of the wheat and tares (Matthew 13:24-30) and allow everything to co-exist until God decides who is worthy and who isn’t? (what if we – on either side – are actually the tares….or the goats (Matthew 25:31-46) ….in ‘the end?’)

Who needs to? We do…

Yet most often we tend to stay firmly rooted on the hot and deadly asphalt of our own pride of place: refusing perspective, refusing dialog, so sure of our rights….and our ‘rightness’.  

And the consequence? Nothing good.

+ + +

The good news of Christ is only offered as good news by ‘we the church’ when we stop sitting in the middle of the path unreconcilably angry at each other, and condemnatory of those on the path.  

Congregations are dwindling as often church is becoming just one more hot patch of asphalt, so to speak. Very little holy good news is shared.

Passersby just keep on going – fearful of our anger and our judging – amazed by our self-righteousness, destructive tendencies. 

Christ will continue to live, of course, but unless we as church are willing to move off the hot asphalt of our self-righteousness, I am not sure we will. 

That seems pretty harsh!  But is it?

What would an autopsy of church show? 

That we will die as those who failed proclaim Christ’s unconditional, merciful love, forgiveness, and promise of new beginnings to a world in desperate need of the great good news. Christ commanded us to not only proclaim with our words but also in the way we live our lives ‘on the path,’ but so many times we are failing.

Please know, I’m not focusing on either the conservatives or progressives here – and am absolutely including myself.  I can be the greatest offender, sad to say.  

It’s time to get a grip and come to terms with the condemnation, condescension, and suspicion of the theological motives of everyone beyond ourselves.

I have seen it play out on social media sites. I have experienced it as pastor.  I have heard it from pulpits and in meetings – and even, for heaven’s sake, at fellowship gatherings.

We all tend to hold onto our theological shopping carts, seemingly content to sit in the middle of ‘our’ path – not only blocking the path from those trying to make it to the other side, but apparently deciding it is better to die than to listen – better to die than admit we might be wrong ….or at least that we are perhaps only partly right.

We are struggling as church right now – folks are leaving in droves.  

I wonder why? 

Could it be in part because the unconditional love, forgiveness and mercy of Christ has gotten overwhelmed by the theological battles on the ‘asphalt path’?

So I wonder….are we willing to accept insight and help beyond ourselves or just stay put on that hot asphalt, leaning on the junk in our carts? Staying put isn’t a life affirming choice.

That lady on the asphalt taught me a lot yesterday.  I hope she chose to get up and live. I hope we do, too.

And to God be the glory!  AMEN.